Letting Go Hurts

No matter how many times you tell yourself "it's for the best" or you are "ready" to let go of someone or something, it's always hard. For me, it's especially for my animals.

Recently, we got out of raising goats. Even though I have been disconnecting myself with them to prepare myself for the sale, I still cried. The last of them were sold at the sale barn, and as soon as one of my goats came through the gate, I just bawled. It was closing a chapter of our lives. Plus, I was allowing them to be sold to anyone that may buy them- a hungry farm, a butcher, or a decent home, I didn't get to pick.

Now, I chose where my donkey went. It was a lot of trouble, but I did it. He was the protector of our goats and I had saved him from depression. The farm previous of ours had 60+goats and he was put with them because their daughter wanted him. These "farmers" didn't want to keep up with the care of the goats- which I knew was going to happen, they aren't animal people, so they sold ALL of their goats, but the donkey. So, the donkey was completely by himself, in a pen about a mile or more away from his owners, without a friend to keep him company. My heart went out to him. Then, the girl went away to college, so he didn't even have someone to come and pet him. After a month or so, I could tell he was depressed. I would drive by about 6 in the morning and he would  be standing in the middle of his pen, with his head down. Twelve hours later, he was in the same place. I couldn't take it, I knew nothing about equestrians, but I did know I had goats and I had to save him. So, I KNEW that getting him wasn't going to be forever, but I ended up getting attached.

Through his loneliness, he became afraid of people. I felt bad for him and took the time to gain his trust (took a lot of cheez-its) and I ended up falling in love with him. I finally gave him a name, Erwin. I guess I took the long way to get there, but I just gave Erwin up for adoption. It was truly for the best, but oh did my heart break in two. I did not want to see him go.. Letting go truly hurts...