No matter how many times you tell yourself "it's for the best" or you are "ready" to let go of someone or something, it's always hard. For me, it's especially for my animals.
Recently, we got out of raising goats. Even though I have been disconnecting myself with them to prepare myself for the sale, I still cried. The last of them were sold at the sale barn, and as soon as one of my goats came through the gate, I just bawled. It was closing a chapter of our lives. Plus, I was allowing them to be sold to anyone that may buy them- a hungry farm, a butcher, or a decent home, I didn't get to pick.
Now, I chose where my donkey went. It was a lot of trouble, but I did it. He was the protector of our goats and I had saved him from depression. The farm previous of ours had 60+goats and he was put with them because their daughter wanted him. These "farmers" didn't want to keep up with the care of the goats- which I knew was going to happen, they aren't animal people, so they sold ALL of their goats, but the donkey. So, the donkey was completely by himself, in a pen about a mile or more away from his owners, without a friend to keep him company. My heart went out to him. Then, the girl went away to college, so he didn't even have someone to come and pet him. After a month or so, I could tell he was depressed. I would drive by about 6 in the morning and he would be standing in the middle of his pen, with his head down. Twelve hours later, he was in the same place. I couldn't take it, I knew nothing about equestrians, but I did know I had goats and I had to save him. So, I KNEW that getting him wasn't going to be forever, but I ended up getting attached.
Through his loneliness, he became afraid of people. I felt bad for him and took the time to gain his trust (took a lot of cheez-its) and I ended up falling in love with him. I finally gave him a name, Erwin. I guess I took the long way to get there, but I just gave Erwin up for adoption. It was truly for the best, but oh did my heart break in two. I did not want to see him go.. Letting go truly hurts...
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Where to Start...
I know blogs are a dime a dozen (kind of like men), but I need something to fill in some of my time, so we will see how it goes. I have tried to keep a journal before, and after a few days, I forget about it. Recently, I have become what can be titled as a "second-shift widow" as my fiance's new job has placed him in second-shift, so I have been trying to find new things to do. Kind of "finding a ray of sunshine" as my nights are lonely and boring at times. Even though we have our unwanted "tenant" aka the annoying future brother-in-law that lives upstairs, having his presence only pisses me off more than ever. How to get rid of him, I would LOVE to have some suggestions, as I have done everything I can to make it uncomfortable for him to be here, and yet, as always, he will free-load off of his younger brother as much as he can.
Usually I cannot think of anything to write, but at the moment there is so much I don't know where to start. I'm not your traditional girl in a sense. Before my fiance and I even thought of marriage, we started a goat farm. I was about to start my second year of college (when I told myself I wasn't going to date in college). I originally grew up in a city and was moved to a small town when I was in my early teens. Goats were most definitely not on my agenda, ever in my life, but, what started as two young boar goats, became almost 50 boar goats. Boy was it crazy trying to do homework, help on the farm, while holding a job or two and since after awhile we moved into an apartment together- be a housewife. Eventually we reduced our numbers to about 20, which we recently just sold. Somewhere in the past 4 to 5 years, we picked up some llamas (which died) and a donkey which is being adopted here soon. Now we have started white-tail deer. It's not normal for college students to start a farm & buy a house with their fiance, while they still graduate.
I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. Yes, it can be tough, but what's life if everything you want is handed to you. Wish someone could tell that brother-in-law of mine. He pays $50 a week (well, is supposed to) and thinks that electricity is magically turned on, water is free, toiletries, and every day stuff. Sorry if I rant and rage a bit about him here and there, but the "man" drives me nuts, but I'm not allowed to throw him out. The family would be upset and what not, but if they think he should live here, maybe they can pay for the stuff he uses of mine. Pretty decent start I guess. Not sure what you are supposed to write in blogs... I'm about to go look at others and see how badly I am doing.
Usually I cannot think of anything to write, but at the moment there is so much I don't know where to start. I'm not your traditional girl in a sense. Before my fiance and I even thought of marriage, we started a goat farm. I was about to start my second year of college (when I told myself I wasn't going to date in college). I originally grew up in a city and was moved to a small town when I was in my early teens. Goats were most definitely not on my agenda, ever in my life, but, what started as two young boar goats, became almost 50 boar goats. Boy was it crazy trying to do homework, help on the farm, while holding a job or two and since after awhile we moved into an apartment together- be a housewife. Eventually we reduced our numbers to about 20, which we recently just sold. Somewhere in the past 4 to 5 years, we picked up some llamas (which died) and a donkey which is being adopted here soon. Now we have started white-tail deer. It's not normal for college students to start a farm & buy a house with their fiance, while they still graduate.
I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. Yes, it can be tough, but what's life if everything you want is handed to you. Wish someone could tell that brother-in-law of mine. He pays $50 a week (well, is supposed to) and thinks that electricity is magically turned on, water is free, toiletries, and every day stuff. Sorry if I rant and rage a bit about him here and there, but the "man" drives me nuts, but I'm not allowed to throw him out. The family would be upset and what not, but if they think he should live here, maybe they can pay for the stuff he uses of mine. Pretty decent start I guess. Not sure what you are supposed to write in blogs... I'm about to go look at others and see how badly I am doing.
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